The (NOT AT ALL) Amazing Spider-Man 2

The (NOT AT ALL) Amazing Spider-Man 2

What has happened to movies? Are they written and made by children now? Or do the adults that make them just have total contempt for the audience?

I won’t even go into how there was no need to reboot the Sam Raimi Spiderman franchise that ended only a few years ago with this new, far inferior version. I know Spiderman 3 was really bad but they could have just made a fourth and not repeated the same mistakes. Instead we are given this ever increasing string of turds. The Amazing Spider-Man was a pretty bad movie, but like many big budget schlock fests now-a-days it made tons of money. Now we are not only getting a sequel but a third and fourth movie are already green-lit as well as films based on Venom and The Sinister Six. This is presumably Sony trying to match the success of The Marvel Cinematic Universe. Keep trying Sony.

I’m not going to go deep into the plot. Mainly because using the words deep and plot in the same sentence concerning this film is an affront to the English language. But, just to give you the “plot” highlights, there are 3 villains now: Electro, Rhino and The Green Goblin. Not the real Green Goblin I might add, they skipped right over Norman Osborn and went to his son Harry. Why, I have no idea. It’s sad too because we do get to meet Norman for a minute and he’s played by Chris Cooper, who would have been great in the role. So we get Harry and he’s sick or something and needs Spider-Man’s blood to make him better.

Electro is a nerdy guy (played by Jamie Fox) that works at Oscorp, everyone apparently works for Oscorp, the Walmart of this particular universe, and he’s in the dumbest work place accident in history and some electric eels make him into the electric Gremlin from Gremlins 2. If only this film were as fun and inventive as Gremlins 2. Rhino we see for a few minutes at the beginning and a few minutes at the end and it’s basically just Paul Giamatti yelling and smashing things.

There are also subplots about Spider-Man getting famous, finding out what his parents were up to and what happened to them, going out with Gwen Stacey again even though he knows he is putting her in danger, and mysterious cloaked figures running around so the filmmakers have an excuse to give us clues to the villains in the next 2 films. And you won’t care about any of it. It’s so convoluted and messy and jumbled that half the movie is exposition and the other half is noisy, pointless action.

Remember when movies had plots and characters that you ended up caring about, or God forbid, identifying with. Ah, those were the days. The plot of this film exists solely to get you from one action scene to the next. Which theoretically should mean a very simple plot, but they end up over-writing the thing to such a degree that it’s just to much junk. 10 different plots, 20 characters and people making stupid, illogical choices for the sake of convenience.

And let’s talk about the action. You know what I miss? Being able to tell what the hell was going on in an action scene and having a sense that there might actually be consequences to that action. If all the characters are indestructible, then all you get is cartoon characters punching each other. The action in this movie, and many big films of late (I’m looking at you Man of Steel) is the equivalent of hanging bright lights and colors and shapes over a baby. Look, colors, lights, shapes, gaga gogo! Nonsense.

Movies are getting bigger and dumber and louder, and now we have 3D and high frame rate, and digital projection. I’m not against technological advancement in the least, but if it all comes at once, and it’s used for the wrong reasons, like just to be used, it can end up just being noise.

Which of the many upcomig comic book films are you looking forward too?

Image Credit, Image courtesy of Sony Pictures


Max Tieman

About The Author

Maximilian Tieman is a lifelong Torrington resident and has been a film buff since his mother brought him to the movies as a child. He is a graphic designer and print specialist and manages the Franklin Print Shoppe in downtown Torrington.

Special thanks to Torrington's Digiplex Destinations.