The Hobbit Part 2: The Boring of the Audience

The Hobbit Part 2: The Boring of the Audience

If you are looking for a way to get your family out of the house over the holidays and you aren't to crazy about them in the first place by all means send them to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, but listen very carefully to this last part: DON’T GO WITH THEM!

Before I start talking about this travesty of film making allow me to share my views on the previous four films in Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth saga so you have some frame of reference about how I feel concerning this particular series.

The Lord of the Rings

1. The Fellowship of the Ring

A wonderful start to this trilogy, a little slow in parts but because it’s the first you let this go.

2. The Two Towers

Absolutely my favorite of the series, beautifully done, love it!

3. The Return of the King

Also excellent, deserving of all its acclaim. I like part 2 a little better only because of this films 10 endings!

The Hobbit

1. An Unexpected Journey

Not bad, a lot of filler and stuff that didn’t need to be there, but fun and entertaining and I will revisit it someday.

So as you can see I'm somewhat of a fan of the Lord of the Rings film series and I even quite liked the first Hobbit film, but unfortunately there will forever be a dark stain on Middle Earth, even if the last film is excellent, thanks to this intensely boring, ridiculously written, cheap looking film.

Yes, you heard correctly, cheap looking. For all the wonderful special effects and amazing worlds Peter Jackson has created over the years, this one looks particularly bad. Many shots look as if they were done with cheap cameras from Wal-Mart, lots of effects are jumpy and shoddy looking and even the editing is noticeably bad.

And I haven’t even mentioned the plot yet! There was a lot of junk shoved into An Unexpected Journey, but at least some of it was entertaining and none of it made me audibly laugh out loud at the screen. The same cannot be said for this installment. Now, I understand that these films have to be made for the masses and therefore must be made accessible to the general public, but will someone please explain to me the virtue of creating an entire character, that serves absolutely no story purpose and does nothing but drag out the running time, simply so they can have a female in the film? I speak of course about the new elf character played by Evangeline Lilly, who plods through the film with nothing to do but slaughter Orcs and create the most laughable love story triangle in movies since the famous Pearl Harbor disaster. There are literally scenes in the film where many people in the audience, including myself, laughed out loud at this story line, one scene in particular of such audacity that I almost questioned what I was seeing. That’s never a good thing.

There is also the whole “let’s try to tie these new Hobbit films in with the original three Lord of the Rings films as much as possible” nonsense that litters this whole film with no less then 30 minutes of made up stuff that should have never been shot. Mr. Jackson, I saw the first three films, I know that Sauron comes back and wants to kill everything, you don’t need to remind me every 10 minutes, you are boring me and making me angry!

And let’s spend just a moment talking about Smaug himself. If you are familiar with the book or have watched TV for more then 10 minutes in the last year you are excited to see this dragon. In the book he is intelligent, majestic and ominous. From the trailers you are teased with his awesomeness and beauty. In the actual film you wait 2 and a half hours to see him for 15 minutes. He's an easily tricked idiot and the film ends on an entirely ridiculous cliffhanger that leaves you sitting in your seat shocked that the credits are rolling. The first trilogy was split at 2 points that were completely logical and, while leaving you wanting more, ended in just the right spot to keep you happy for the next year. This one just leaves you angry and unsatisfied.

And I won't even mention the action scenes in this film that go on for far to long, are mostly just a blur of senseless killing with no plot relevance and which are just made up, not being from the source material. Why do all action scenes now a days have to go on forever, they end up being just a blur of colors and motion meaningless to the audience. I'm looking at you Man of Steel!

So by all means send those relatives that annoy you most out of the house for an afternoon to watch this turkey. Oh, and be sure to tell them to see it in 3D, then they'll get a headache too!

Happy Holidays!


What are your feelings on Middle Earth?

Comments

Max Tieman

About The Author

Maximilian Tieman is a lifelong Torrington resident and has been a film buff since his mother brought him to the movies as a child. He is a graphic designer and print specialist and manages the Franklin Print Shoppe in downtown Torrington.

Special thanks to Torrington's Digiplex Destinations.